Growing Together: Celebrating LGBTQ+ Voices at Friends

 

In recognition of LGBTQ+ History Month, Friends hosted a powerful panel discussion during an Upper School assembly, uniting students, faculty, and staff in an open dialogue about identity, community, and resilience. Reflecting this year’s school theme, “Growing Together Through Silence and Dialogue,” the event brought together voices spanning generations, hometowns, and experiences, illuminating the progress made while also highlighting ongoing challenges for LGBTQ+ individuals.

The panel, moderated by Steve Borowka and Maya ’25, was hosted by Kirsti Peters and featured Friends faculty and staff members Bo Lauder, Kyla Campbell, Annah Heckman ’15, Chris Doire, and Trent Williams. The event marked a significant moment for Bo, who shared that it was the first LGBTQ-centered panel featuring adults at the School in his 23 years as head, and a historic moment for him personally as one of the first openly gay heads of school in New York. Bo called for reflection beyond Friends’ walls, asking the audience to consider how allies can support LGBTQ+ individuals, especially in areas where being openly gay is still met with hostility.

The conversation began with a round-robin of questions about high school experiences, touching on extracurriculars, music, and the absence of visible LGBTQ+ role models in earlier years. The tone soon deepened as panelists shared more personal stories, discussing what it meant to grow up in a time when the language and visibility for LGBTQ+ identities were limited. Chris, for instance, recounted the experience of their youth, saying, “We didn’t have coming out. We just had silence—at least that’s what it felt like at the time.” 

Annah Heckman ’15 reflected on her own journey as a former student now working at her alma mater. Though she identified as straight in high school and has since come out, Annah was an active member of the school’s GSA and now devotes herself to creating safe spaces for all students. Trent echoed this sentiment, sharing a moving story about a student who told him he was their first openly queer teacher, a revelation that underscored the importance of visibility and connection.

Steve shared memories of the complex conversations he navigated with his parents and talked about coming of age during the height of the AIDS epidemic. Theater had been a refuge in his youth. “They have your back on and off stage,” he noted, emphasizing the unique support he found within that community.

The panel concluded with a resonant sense of gratitude and unity, best expressed by Kyla, who said, “It warms my heart to be in such a welcoming community at Friends.”